Blow Job Hack 101

Alright ladies and gents, its time to talk about our favorite thing!! 

Blow jobs!

Alright, I know I just got a few eye rolls ( I'm rolling with you), its a love/hate relationship but sometimes you just gotta take one for the team. I am a firm believer in 68, I always owe you one! ( yes you can totally steal that line and use it daily) Some of y'all love it and I salute you. The other half of us though...we struggle.

You and the spouse are enjoying a nice night on the couch and all of sudden you realize the laundry needs to be switch or the kids are still up. Now you look over at each other and the game begins. You decide you are going to rock/paper who has to deal with it, but its never just rock/paper. You find yourself adding to the gamble with something like, "I win we get to watch whatever I want with no complaints!". Now you already know hes about to top this and then he says " If I win I get a blow job!".

Mistakes have been made! You throw paper to his scissors and his face lights up like Christmas. As you are switching the loads/telling the kids to get to bed, you are thinking "Maybe he will forget and I can trick him to just cuddling to a movie." WRONG! You walk back in to this

Blow Job Hack 101

No worries, I got you! Ready to make that 30 minute blow job last only 5 minutes?I got your attention now, huh? Let me introduce you the amazing world of pocket pussies! They are not just for men ladies, they are actually your new best friend. I need you to hit up your local Intimate Ideas and get yourself a pocket pussy and some flavored lube, I personally love this mint, it taste just like your spearmint gum! 

Once you have your supplies, you will rub him down with your lube and put the toy on the shaft. Here is where the magical 5 minutes begins. You are going to use the toy to stroke the shaft while you ONLY concentrate on the head! In his mind, he's still feeling a normal blow job, but are you really? Nope! With you only working the head, game is about to be over!

Now for those of you who has a man who loves the runny mascara look, you are still covered. Girl, BLINK, like crazy, he isn't looking at you the whole time! His head is thrown back in pure ecstasy.  Plus, mint lube will help with the watery eyes...we carry plenty minty pleasures.

Now go on and show him who the boss really is before that movie starts getting good. 

Until next time,

The Lil' One

 

 

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