Fun times with sex toys!


Summer is coming to an end and the basic bitch season is upon us, so it is only right we enjoy the final stages of pandemic summers like the bad bitches we are!

You either love this or hate it, but I am here for it! You can catch me jamming out behinds my kids backs with my headphones at full blast, while I try to remember how to drop it low! I have actually been using some of the lyrics at work to help pitch some product, so I thought it would be fun to sing-a-long with y'all! 

"Put this p*ssy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card"- Accomodator

"Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel when it's inside"-Remote Dual Motor Kegel

"Tie me up like I'm surprised
Let's roleplay, I'll wear a disguise"- Kitty Cat

"Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me"-Gobble!

"I wanna gag, I wanna choke I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat"- Hit The Back

"Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes
Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheatin'"- Pearls Baby

"Put him on his knees, give him somethin' to believe in
Never lost a fight, but I'm lookin' for a beatin'"- Spank Me Please


Ladies click them links and get your certified freak, seven days a week on! 


-Lil' One 

Play Together

"A couple that plays together, stays together."

When you read/hear that you are not thinking about the vibrator you are hiding under the mattress or that favorite porn scene you have saved to the cloud...but you should be. Bringing sex toys into the bedroom is either frowned upon or raved about! There really is no in-between when you ask others how they feel about it. 

There seems to be some stigma that if you want to bring in toys, you are not "good enough" or "big enough" or whatever excuse you want. I am here to tell you, its all a lie. A sex toy is not going to replace you or change your partner. The toys are made to increase desire and help unite you in new ways.

Instead of thinking of the toy as a your replacement, think of it as part of you. You really love clitoral play but while in doggy it gets hard to keep up could use a g-spot toy with a long handle to help the vibrations going! You like your balls played with but she's lost in her O. Really want that blow job but partner isn't fully in the mood? Not all toys are needed for just the bed! Say you slept wrong and need a massage, you can add a finger vibe to help relax the muscles. 

Are we getting the picture, or do I need to continue? 

Still think sex toys are overrated and are just around to replace you? We get that trying something new can be intimidating and we aren't telling you to run out and buy Mr.Holmes as your first toy. Start with something you both agree and explore each other in a whole new way. Remember the vibrator is your friend, not your enemy. The new sparks you are about to find will take your everyday 10 points to a whole new level. 


-Lil One



New Year, New Toy

It's that time of the year again, new year is this week and everyone has a resolution they want to share. Your social media is going crazy with how people will only eat salads, or will spend more time at the gym. You probably have a friend who declares they are done dating. 


Instead of joining in the chaos of resolutions you won't keep, start something new. New year, New toy! This resolution is a sure win way to get off properly for when living on salads makes you sad or if you are the one no longer dating after the ball drop. Lets go over the top 5 toys you should have in your bottom drawer!

Number One:

Who doesn't love getting the cookie eaten? The Womanizer is the go to for that oral stimulation. This little toy was actually created by a husband! That's right, a husband knew what his wife loved and went ahead and made her the perfect toy! The womanizer does not vibrate, it actually uses air technology. It puffs all around the clit creating a sensation no other toy can mock.


Number Two:

For the couples who want to add a extra little spark of naughty this year, you want the We-Vibe Sync. This U shaped toy is connected to bluetooth, so no matter where you are, you get off! The top of the toy hugs yours clit and the bottom has a slim base that sits by the g-spot, while your partner slides under it creating a orgasm that will rock your world! 

With the bluetooth techonolgy, this is the perfect dare to wear out toy! The app has multiple functions that make it look as though you are just texting away to that in public orgasm. 


Number Three:

The classics never go out of style, they just tend to get upgrades! The wands have been a go to for years. Now we no longer need to arrange our beds to match outlets! This wand is made with a medical grade silicone, magnetic charger base and has a nice give to it making it bend slightly to follow your curve. You can easily create the night with a wand massage that gives you to the happy ending you deserve! 

Number Four:

The rabbit is another classic who just gets better with age! The Malibu  minx not only vibes it way to our g-spot, it sucks our clit into submission! You read that right! It sucks on your clit! A standard rabbit has a cute animal that vibrates your clit, while the length of the toy hits all your internal nerve endings giving you a dual orgasm. This little number does all of that with a little sucking action! 

Number Five:

Lastly, a girls best friend has been and will always be her bullet. The perfect number to hide in the tub or side drawer, always easy to reach when the time is right. This ultra bullet  is made from medical grade silicone and bends with your body in a way no other bullet can. It comes with 20 function and I can never make it past the 3rd! It is so strong that you can turn his dick into a vibrator! You read that right ladies! While he is inside you, set the bullet along the side of him and scream out to the gods of great sex. There is no need for a morning run or gym session when it comes to this bullet. 

It's now that time for you to rock the new year with a new orgasm. Which one will you pick?!


-Lil One 

Us Basic Bitches

We know who we are and we carry no shame in a our social media outpours of pumpkin spice and furry boots. We are proud and loud in our fight for filtered pictures making us cats and our love of all things pink. We are basic bitches! 

While, we may know all things in coffee shop language, we do not know all things sex toy language. We just assume the associate behind the counter will understand our basic needs and color schemes. Which we are not wrong about! We tell them its our first toy, if we want internal or external and our favorite color...and like magic...they take us to it. 


We have a vibrator with a cute butterfly that has a g-spot and clit stimulator, a bullet, and toy cleaner. We have no idea where we want to begin so we walk the entire store before agreeing they were actual magicians and got it all right. As we get ready to check out we discover pheromone perfumes and shave creams and realize we have been missing out on so many tips and tricks! Like did you know that a vajayjay shrink cream is real and that you can use it for under eye bags? Bitch, me either! 

 We slowly discover that our basic needs are just now beginning to get filled and that we have found our new language! As a special thank you to us basic bitches you will find all the Calexotic toys are on sale, just in time for holiday wish lists!


From one of your own, happy holidays bitches! 


-Lil One 



New Work Uniform

You and the spouse are talking about trying something new, and you decide you want to try a new work uniform first. You start looking at sexy lingerie and now you're asking yourself:

"What the hell is a chemise? Did I even say that right?!" ( Don't worry I've been here 8 years and I still don't know how to say it right, haha)

"Do I want a teddy or a baby doll?" 

"A corset is just meant to make my tits look great, but suffocate me while I try to be sexy?"


We have all been there, in a room from floor to ceiling, full of a million outfits, in every size and we just have that 'da hell" face going. Now, don't get me wrong, some of us are champs when it comes to lingerie and getting your sexy on...the rest of us are trying to figure out if the "bend and snap" is still a thing!

  If you like the look of it or the feel of it, then rock the damn thing! At the end of the day, your spouse is going to remember maybe the color, but they will absolutely remember the confidence you carried that night! 

Dressing up is kind of like changing your hair color, you morph into new a person! Get a hot little black number and dominate the bedroom, or a red one and create a romantic night. Spicing up the night can be that easy when you're feeling yourself!

 -Lil One-

Cockring Applying!

In the world of sex toys, we always seem to over look one of the greatest, the cock ring! Before you dudes roll your eyes and declare you're "too big" for one, hear me out. This little ring of pleasure is not only the ultimate confidence booster, its also unisex! That's right ladies, we get some fun out of these too! Lets go down the rabbit hole.

 Now look down at your dude and imagine him a little thicker, a little veiny and keep that image...because we are about to make that a reality! That's right! The cock ring is your way to the ultimate penis envy! Ladies...don't give up on me yet, this will help you both.

Now grab your cock ring and slowly slide it down to the base, it is best to be either flaccid or semi-erect. If you feel like you need it, you can apply lubricant to help the sliding process. (Look at image 2 of the top row for guidance)

Applying Cock Ring

Notice the changes in thickness and appearance? She will notice it too! The rings not only boost your confidence, they will also add a few extra pumps to your bedroom game! You can add one around your balls or the entire package! If you do all 3 at once, its a pretty cool little cage! Always remember to remove the ring if you feel any discomfort, notice discolor or if you are hitting the 30 minute mark. 

Now that you realize the ring world is awesome! Add in some vibrations! Its not only great for the clit, but you can also flip the ring and use the vibrations on you! 

Lets finish this off with one fun cock ring fact! The vibration rings are amazing for fingering! Yeah, you read that right! Take that ring, place the vibe on the pad of your finger and flip the ring over it to hold it in place. Now you are sure to hit all her sweet spots! 


Now its time to use all this knowledge and rock some beds!




-Lil One-


All lubed up

        One of the big product groups that our company deals with is personal lubricants. They come in a large variety of forms, flavors, and with different bases. Some are recommended just for personal use (jackin it), used between partners, used for anal sex, and used to make genitals taste better. With so many choices, it can be difficult figuring out which lube is best for each individual. Well lets slide right into it, so anyone can go from lube noob, to lube pro.

         To start things off, lets discuss the two main types of lube. These are silicone based lubricants, and water based lubricants. The silicone based lubricants are much slicker than their counterpart, and won't get tacky. It is also better for anal sex, as it stays so much slicker, and helps protect the skin of the anus. On the down side though, silicone lube does have some use limitations. For starters, it is not condom safe, as it will cause friction to build up until the condom rips. Silicone lube should also not be used with a good amount of toys, especially the toys that have a skin type material, as the silicone lube will break the toy down quickly.

      Next up is good old water based lubricants! One way that it's been described is that water based lube is better at getting things started than it is at keeping things going. Water based lube will begin to soak up into the skin (harmlessly cause water), and the lube may need to be reapplied. This style of lubricant is also known to averagely tend to get sticky or tacky after it has been used for an extended period of time. On the plus side, water based lubricants are fully condom safe. When it comes to toys, water based lubricants are always the way to go. Some companies are substantially better when it comes to the water based lubricants, two such examples are anything by Pjur, and Wickeds Aqua. They may be basic water based, but they still do a great job.

      The third type of lube were going to cover is the flavored lubricants. It may seem like not much could be said here, but there is. When it comes to flavored lubricants, basically anything can go on a dick to make it taste however you want, and thats all well and good. But! If there was sugar in the lube, as many of them have, it can cause a yeast infection in women. Over all the years I worked as a clerk for Intimate Ideas, the amount of women who do not know this has always boggled my mind. That said, some companies are tottally vagina safe, for example Wickeds flavored line is even vegan and vagina friendly. In case your vagina is vegan. That said, Wet makes a 4 in 1 warming flavored massage oil lubricant in a variety of tasty flavors. Finally, the company JO has always been trusted by vaginas all over, and they come in just about any flavor one could possibly think of.

             So that is pretty much it for the lubricants. At least as far as a super basic introduction goes. There is of course plenty more that goes into the lube department. We did not even cover the hybrids, part water and part silicone, or part coconut oil. There is so many different lubes that we could discuss them all day. I'm about at my character limit though, so thanks for reading!

Sounding Guide

Penis Plugs and Sounding Rods

The terms are sometimes used interchangeably, but they are quite different in form and function.


  • Both are used in urethral play
    •Both are inserted into the tip of the penis
    •Both can enhance sexual pleasure


  • A penis plug is meant to be worn during sex and masturbation activities, kind of like jewelry. Some are solid, and some are hollow, to allow urine and ejaculate to pass through.
  • Penis plugs are usually shorter and sometimes have ribs or notches to keep them from slipping out.
  • Sounds are primarily longer (sometimes long enough to reach the bladder) and generally smooth.
  • Sounds can be moved in and out while playing. Kind of like massaging the inside of the penis. Only use small, gentle strokes.

How to do it:

The process itself is quite simple. The main thing being that if you feel pain or extreme tightness or pressure, stop. There may be scar tissue or other blockages and you don’t want to run the risk of tearing something in there.

Before doing anything, make sure your tools are clean and sterilized. You can sterilize your sounds in boiling water (boil for thirty minutes or so) and, when you’re ready to start, make sure your penis and your hands are both clean.

 If the sounds (or hands) end up touching something not clean, you run the risk of inserting whatever bacteria it may be into your body. Wash again and start over.

Once the implements are cleaned and cooled to a safe temperature, you’ll want to lube the sound as well as the area around the penis hole. Slowly let the rod slide into your urethra, pushing gently to ease it in.

The first few times it may take some time to get used to the sensations and feelings.

The key is going slow. Once you get used to the size and the feeling of something inside your dick, you can begin to experiment a little bit by switching up the size of the sound or even rotating it while inside you.

Penis plugs: As I mentioned earlier, these are a bit different from sounds. They perform a similar function (sexual pleasure), but they are designed to be inserted, and then left in place. Kind of
like shiny jewelry for your cock! The designs and styles available are almost limitless.

Picking out a vibrator

       Vibrators are one of the most popular types of sex toys. So, what’s all the buzz about? There is not one specific type of vibrator that is better than the rest. Instead, there are four main types of vibrators to choose from, and it all comes down to personal preference. These are straight vibrators, phallic vibrators, rabbit vibes, and bullets. Picking out which type is best for any specific person can take a bit of trial and error. Once the preferred type is found though, it is smooth sailing from there on out.

        Straight vibrators are the most basic form of vibrating sex toy. Though they come in a variety of widths and lengths, the design is ultimately the same. They are, at their most basic, simply a straight device, with various vibration strengths. To use them, they can either be inserted vaginally/anally, or used as a clit stimulator with a little extra reach. This classic form will likely never go out of style, and is a widely popular choice, that is great for starting out. One of the most beneficial parts of this toy is that it allows the user to decide if they prefer the toy for clit stimulation, insertion or both.

          Phallic vibrators are very similar to straight vibrators but have one key difference. They’re shaped like a penis. That is really it for the most part. While a straight vibrator may have some different texture to it, phallic vibrators have the shape and texture of a penis. This style of vibrator is mostly for people who have decided that they prefer insertion over clit stimulation. This style has a pretty diverse selection, ranging in sizes, textures, shapes, and different vibration functions.

       The bullets main usage is as a clitoral stimulator by delivering a strong vibration to a small area. Some come in a very basic style, utilizing a battery pack connected to a bullet via a cord. These are a very basic style of toy, and they do have a more shortened life span due to the cord being tugged on during play. To remedy this, many toy makers have opted to house the batteries in the unit itself. Another, and in our opinion a much better option, is for the toy to rechargeable. The rechargeable bullets are often also the strongest, and the highest of quality.

         The final style that we will be discussing is the rabbit. Fun history fact, the first rabbit was designed in Japan, as a way around their stiff rules around sexuality. They were not allowed to make a sex toy look like genitalia, so they decided to go with the design of the rabbit. The rabbit combines the straight vibrator with a bullet, providing stimulation to both the clit, and the g-spot at the same time. There is a variety of looks that a rabbit vibrator can take, though the most common is a medium sized shaft, with a strong bullet connected to one side. When picking out a rabbit, the best one to choose will have dual motors, which generate vibration at the tip of the shaft, as well as in the bullet portion.

     Picking out which type of toy to go with takes a good deal of trial and error. If a straight vibrator is chosen, try using it for both penetration and clit stimulation. When a choice is made on which way is preferred, then it is time to pick up a good version of whichever type is preferred. So try them out, and figure it all out for yourself!

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